Breakups suck. And when you want to get your ex back, then breakups suck even more. Obviously if you were over your ex, then you wouldn’t be reading this. Which means you’re unhappy right now. And you’re not just unhappy with your breakup, but you might also be unhappy with everything that’s going on in your life right now. Major life changes tend to do that to a person.That’s why I want you to consider one thing: WHY you really want to get your ex back.
Lots of people just want to get back together because it’s easier than moving on. Plus once you’re not in the drama of the relationship anymore it’s a lot easier to see what went wrong and think that it will be easy to change it. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. There’s also nothing wrong with knowing what happened in the relationship and what you would do differently if given a second chance.
The problem comes in when you want to get your ex back just because you don’t know what to do with your life without him or her.
It’s easy to lose yourself in your relationship. You’re happy. You love the other person so much that you’re willing to do a lot of compromising in order to make them happy. You stop going out with your friends. You might even stop doing some things you love just so that you can spend time with your love.
And that’s all well and good — until you break up and you realize that you’re really left with a giant hole in your life. And that’s not to say that it should be easy to move on after a breakup, because of course it’s not going to be easy. But if you’re looking to get back together with your ex because you have nothing else going on, then it’s going to make you feel desperate. It’s going to make you feel like your life is over, when it isn’t.
I’ve been there. I’ve lost someone I love and not known what to do in order to get them back into my life. And I know what it’s like to spend lots of time and energy wishing you could move on but not being able to. That’s part of the reason I started this blog. I love to help people and I hate to see them suffer. But I can definitely tell you that it’s going to be easier and faster to get your ex back when you’re happy with your life. You don’t want to spend MONTHS sitting by the phone waiting around and hoping they’ll call.
It helps to feel good about yourself. It helps to believe in yourself. And that can only happen when you’re happy — regardless of whether or not you get your ex back.
Think about preparing your life for the person you love to come back. Think about what your life was like when you met them. Think about all of the things you used to do and who you were as a person. If any of those things have changed — significantly — since you got together with your ex, or even since you broke up, then it’s time to get serious.
Make a list of all of the things you’ve given up in your life in order to be with your ex. Decide right now that you’re going to pick at least one or two things on that list and do them again. If you love running and haven’t been out in a while, then it’s time to do it. If you love playing your guitar but your ex worked second shift so you couldn’t play without disturbing them, then it’s time to get it out.
Think about all of the ways you can make your life better while you’re getting your ex back. Besides, you don’t want to go on that first date all over again and the only thing you have to talk about is how you sat around waiting for them to come back. You want to be happy in your life so your ex wants to come back. Not so unhappy that your entire life stopped because they were gone.
It might sound hard, and like you’d rather get a root canal than try to be happy at this particular moment. But in the end, when you get your ex back, it’ll be worth it.
